No mud no lotus

Well unfortunately my op got cancelled for this week which was very disappointing. I am so grateful for all I have learnt while studying Buddhism as it helped me not fester on feeling upset about it but accepting that nothing is guaranteed and that what ever is for you will come at the right time. So I set about restructuring my website to keep myself busy ,and picked out some new ideas I would like to create and sure enough a new appointment was made for me and fingers crossed I shall be having my surgery this coming Monday.

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Its funny how you can seemingly out of nowhere decided to learn about something new through curiosity and then find later down the line the significance of it's importance. I had been reading about and following Thich Nhat Hanh and his and other's meditations throughout my whole brain tumour experience and even though sometimes its hard to get to what's taught at times it has served me so well in my darkest moments throughout all of this.

Preparing for brain surgery is hardcore and tough. Thinking you are fixed from that and then facing having it all done again minus the tumour removal is disappointing and distressing, I can't deny its been hard work knowing after 9 months of healing I am about to set it all back a few months. One of the main things in Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings is to be in the moment right here right now and to appreciate it however it feels, accept any negative emotion as equally as you would accept a nice one for each has a purpose and a reason and we should allow them to just be as you cant have joy without sadness everything is important. You cant grow a beautiful lotus without mud, I am learning to remember that each time I feel sad and defeated.

Something beautiful will come out of this situation, I for one am and will be a different person, this has taught me who I do and don't want to be going forward and given me a renewed appreciation in life. If this hadn't happened to me I wouldn't of felt compelled to draw creativity came in despair and that's my lotus, I look forward to seeing what comes next.

#Buddhism #ThichNhatHanh #nomudnolutus #beinthemoment #emotions #stayingstrong #braintumour #meningioma #survivor #revamp #creativity #despair #newbeginnings #positive